What’s your favourite song?
I, er, dunno. Does anyone have a favourite song? Don’t they have like ten? Um, certainly don’t have one. I have for a long time liked this song; have I told you about I Feel Like Going Home? I did Ally McBeal’s gig in Australia and she recorded it but I don’t think it ever ended up online but it’s a song by a band called the Notting Hillbillies. You can probably look it up, it’s a country ballad called I Feel Like Going Home and it’s just a really simple, good song and I’ve always liked it.
What’s your favourite colour?
It changes. Probably blue to wear and have contacts of.
You? Black? Purple? Yeah, purple’s a fucking great colour. I do love purple but you can’t really use it much these days. You could in the late nineties combined with orange.
What’s your favourite food?
Whose questions are these? Crazy kids. Not that there’s anything wrong with them, it’s just like when you go to a boy-band’s website and these are the type of question they’re asked.
My favourite food, pâté, foie gras; anything made up from liver of a force-fed bird I fucking love. Steak, I love rare steak. Any orange juice that Kirsty or Sarah give me. And chocolate, preferably with obscure little in jokes written on them. Have you got some for me?
*chocolate with an obscure in-joke is duly presented to Tim and passed round*
The trouble with what you’re doing here is that you kinda have to do it forever. It’s only gonna be funny when you give it to me as a dying present when I’m 80 saying, “Goodbye,” or, “Too much chocolate?”
What’s your favourite lolly?
What’s a lolly over here? Is it like a sweet or an ice lolly?
Ice lolly.
Does that include like ice cream on a stick or is it just ice lollies? Like is a crunchy ice cream a lolly? You people and your terminology. A lolly’s a sweet in my country; where I come from, over the seas.
Kirsty: From where you come.
Yeah, from where I come. I reckon about five times a show I say something and in my head I go, “I should have said it that way” and I almost do but then I realise that that’s not funny for anyone in this country.
What’s your favourite animal?
Monkey. I love monkeys! I’m considering a tattoo – although I have been for ten years – and it would be of a monkey. Does that count? A monkey’s an animal isn’t it? It’s certainly not a fruit.